October 2011

Skinny Dipping Can Be Fun If You're Careful

"So, be carefully if you plan to take a dip in your birthday suit. "

I'm a bashful person by nature but get me deep out in the country somewhere with no one else around and give me some water and the clothes just might have to come off. It's an exhilarating feeling being surrounded by nature and totally in the buff!

You can dive for crawdads during the day or just lay on your back at night starring up at the moon and stars. It's a surreal experience no matter what time of day and a very relaxing one for the mind.

Sleepovers

Sleepovers were a bit of taboo, a bit of fantasy.

When I was a kid, I couldn’t get enough of sleepovers at my friends’ houses. I was always grasping for invitations, saying that I had no plans on Friday night, did she? Saying, after the movie, it’ll be so late, why don’t I just stay at your place? It was obvious: I was annoying.

The Legend of Zelda

A cool adventure video game from the 80's

Finally, we saved the Princess! My son and I played a video game that lasted about a year-and-a-half before we reached the end of the first level. The video game was the "Legend of Zelda" by Nintendo. First version came out in 1986. Zelda was all the rage, the coolest fantasy action-adventure game of the 80s.

After school, my son and I would sit down in front of the television and whip out the dual remote controls. The World Wide Web was not launched until 1991, so when you played a video game back when, you were on your own unless you bought a "cheat" book, which we did.  

The goal was simple, to save Princess Zelda from Ganon. The hero was Link. A character that dressed like Robin Hood, and yes, my son and I had a few wise cracks about his costume. He was cute though incredibly small for a hero.

Each weekday my son and I would weave in and out dungeons and danger in the Overworld. This was the first Nintendo game where you could resume where you left off, which was great. Together my son and I set out to unlock keys, buy items, discover new powers but most of all reach the final dungeon to save the princess. 

After months of play, we got to the end of the first level and freed Zelda! After such a long trial of insane fun, we beat the game… together. We were exhausted. We cheered, we shouted, we were glad it was over. What a cool adventure video game to go on a quest with my son. Good times!

Your Highness is One Penis Joke After Another

And I suppose if you like penis jokes, you’re in for a treat. If you don’t—and I think that includes most of us—you might as well skip this ridiculous so-called comedy.

My best friend and I were hoping to see this film together because it has Natalie Portman in it and we are huge fans of hers. We thought it looked like it might have a bit of girl power in it because of the previews (much like the misogynistic Sucker Punch, which, after I watched it, pretty much left me feeling like I got sucker punched), but in the end while Portman’s character was the highlight of the film, she still didn’t make it worth the watch—not out of a lack for trying, I’m sure, but just out of the sheer suckage of the movie. When critics say that hours after watching the film, they’re pretty sure it’s the worst one ever made, they aren’t kidding.