Your Highness is One Penis Joke After Another

Your Highness is One Penis Joke After Another

And I suppose if you like penis jokes, you’re in for a treat. If you don’t—and I think that includes most of us—you might as well skip this ridiculous so-called comedy.

My best friend and I were hoping to see this film together because it has Natalie Portman in it and we are huge fans of hers. We thought it looked like it might have a bit of girl power in it because of the previews (much like the misogynistic Sucker Punch, which, after I watched it, pretty much left me feeling like I got sucker punched), but in the end while Portman’s character was the highlight of the film, she still didn’t make it worth the watch—not out of a lack for trying, I’m sure, but just out of the sheer suckage of the movie. When critics say that hours after watching the film, they’re pretty sure it’s the worst one ever made, they aren’t kidding.

In the film, a lazy prince is reluctantly paired up with his heroic brother to save the brother’s fiancée after she is kidnapped—by the same evil wizard who had initially imprisoned her for her whole life, and whom the latter brother had saved her from—and I suppose hilarity is supposed to ensue. The entire premise of the film is that the wizard wants to rape the maiden in order to create a powerful dragon, and the princes must stop him to save her as well as to prevent an apocalyptic event from occurring.

There are plenty of cliché jokes, bits of fart humor, and perversion if anyone likes that sort of thing—and if done well, these jokes can be enjoyable, I’ll admit; they simply are not done well. Between being bored and disgusted, I don’t think I laughed more than twice throughout the entire movie, and it was so forgettable that I don’t even remember the parts where I laughed.

So if you’re seeking something funny this weekend, don’t bother with Your Highness; it’s not going to make you laugh. Instead, try a classic like Airplane! or a Monty Python movie. New hits like Bridesmaids and Something Borrowed (though that one’s a bit misogynistic, too) will be sure to give you belly laughs, as well. If you can wait a couple of months, Crazy, Stupid Love is another gem; you could also simply watch episodes of Modern Family.